bush

This is surreal. I feel like I have a hangover suddenly.

This is killer. Thanks to Andrew.

 From ABC News via the Drudge Report:

Intelligence and law enforcement sources tell ABC News they are expecting al Qaeda supporters will post a new video on the Internet in the next 24 hours, calling for what one source said is "jihadists to use biological, chemical and nuclear weapons to attack the West."

A completely vague, undefined threat from anonymous sources relating to a ridiculous trifecta of Weapons of Mass Destruction™ that will be released in video format in the next day. I'm sure it's already on rapidshare.

"There have been several reports that al Qaeda will release a new message calling for the use of weapons of mass destruction (WMD) against civilians," FBI spokesman Richard Kolko told ABC News in an e-mail.

Who is this group, al Qaeda anyways? How come they just looove killing innocent people so much? I understand that there were terrorist attacks in New York City, Washington DC, and London, but nobody has ever conclusively proven or implied to have proven that any of them were committed by a rag-tag band of oil billionaire fundamentalist muslims called 'al Qaeda.'

"Although there have been similar messages in the past, the FBI and [Department of Homeland Security] have no intelligence of any specific plot or indication of a threat to the U.S.," the e-mail said. "The FBI and U.S. intelligence community will review the message for any intelligence value."

Again, we have no intelligence of any credible threat to the United States. So what the in the hell are we paying for? Who in the world did the email come from? Why is there never any conclusive evidence of anything when these are released?

Ok, so I was a little off.

You may have heard that this guy George W. Bush was elected president. That's basically been a giant lie. You may have even heard he got reelected. This is also an untruth.

 In reality, George Bush is a devoted and perverted time traveller who has been sent to go back in time become elected president, and only do the most inane and incompetent looking political scandles possible for a president to still not be impeached for some reason. He basically goes into the future to screw everything up just right, so you never noticed he was on his ranch all summer. For the lolz. He also owns a hypnoquantummer. The House and the Senate are completely unaware of this, so please take two hours a day to hand write all of your congress-people.

Also, near the end of his time travelling adventures Bush does, in fact, impregnate one of his own ancestors, and he is, in fact, his own grandpa. And more.

Anyways, you'll probably appreciate this gem from the guardian highlighting his latest time-sploits. I'm about to break Godwins Law. And I just lost the game. That's what I call appeasement to Nazi's:

George Bush's grandfather, the late US senator Prescott Bush, was a director and shareholder of companies that profited from their involvement with the financial backers of Nazi Germany.

The Guardian has obtained confirmation from newly discovered files in the US National Archives that a firm of which Prescott Bush was a director was involved with the financial architects of Nazism.

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