Al Qaeda Releases Stale Fart, Mainstream Media Freaks Out, Reality Still Peaceful, Sunny

From ABC News via the Drudge Report:

Intelligence and law enforcement sources tell ABC News they are expecting al Qaeda supporters will post a new video on the Internet in the next 24 hours, calling for what one source said is "jihadists to use biological, chemical and nuclear weapons to attack the West."

A completely vague, undefined threat from anonymous sources relating to a ridiculous trifecta of Weapons of Mass Destruction™ that will be released in video format in the next day. I’m sure it’s already on rapidshare.

"There have been several reports that al Qaeda will release a new message calling for the use of weapons of mass destruction (WMD) against civilians," FBI spokesman Richard Kolko told ABC News in an e-mail.

Who is this group, al Qaeda anyways? How come they just looove killing innocent people so much? I understand that there were terrorist attacks in New York City, Washington DC, and London, but nobody has ever conclusively proven or implied to have proven that any of them were committed by a rag-tag band of oil billionaire fundamentalist muslims called ‘al Qaeda.’

"Although there have been similar messages in the past, the FBI and [Department of Homeland Security] have no intelligence of any specific plot or indication of a threat to the U.S.," the e-mail said. "The FBI and U.S. intelligence community will review the message for any intelligence value."

Again, we have no intelligence of any credible threat to the United States. So what the in the hell are we paying for? Who in the world did the email come from? Why is there never any conclusive evidence of anything when these are released?

While there is no evidence of any direct threat, the FBI sent a bulletin to 18,000 law enforcement agencies across the country, out of an abundance of caution.

Some independent analysts don’t think the public should worry much.

If 20,000+ cops should worry or be aware of something, the public shouldn’t worry much?

Ben Venzke, the CEO of IntelCenter, a group that monitors terrorist communications on the Web, said the video, entitled "Nuclear Jihad, The Ultimate Terror," is a jihadi supporter video compilation and not from an official group.

Wait, wait, wait. IntelCenter guy says the title of the video is "Nuclear Jihad, The Ultimate Terror." Hahahah. Good one. But still, not a credible threat.

"Supporter videos are made by fans or supporters who may not have ever had any contact with a real terrorist," Venzke said. "These videos almost always are comprised of old video footage that is edited together to make a new video."

Ok, so then it’s not al Qaeda, but instead just some wannabe-jihadist-youtubers? Doesn’t it sound kind of suspicious that the video is "comprised of old video footage that is edited together to make a new video?" What, they can’t afford a damned sd card, or tape, or something? If they can’t afford that, they’ve got a long time to go before they can afford uranium.

He said the material in these types of videos does not qualify as an official message from al Qaeda or any other group.

Ok? The headline of this article is "Al Qaeda Supporters’ Tape to Call for Use of WMDs." Is al Qaeda setting us up the bomb or not?

"Considering them so would be the equivalent of considering a 10-year-old’s homemade fan video of his favorite sports team to be an official team message," Venzke said. "IntelCenter is not aware of any new imminent message by al-Qaeda or any other leading jihadist group in audio or video form that will call for the use of WMD against civilians."

So why are we still talking about it?

Word of the new tape comes on the heels of a spate of messages from Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda’s second-in-command, Ayman al-Zawahiri.

Earlier this month, al Qaeda released an audio message from bin Laden, excoriating the media and countries that are supportive of Israel. The release was timed to coincide with the nation’s 60th anniversary and President Bush’s trip to the region.

Oh, right. Israel. Bush. He’d straight up say that kangaroos were weapons of mass destruction and that Australians are evil if he thought they had any oil.

So far this year, four bin Laden tapes have surfaced.

All this from a man who is impossible to catch, has probably already had massive kidney failure and who has been on the run in the biggest manhunt in all of history for nearly 7 years now. The cryptic bin Laden whose shadow drapes Americans in perpetual fear.

In April, the terror group released audio recordings in which al-Zawahiri answered questions submitted to an online forum several months earlier.

The increasing volume of tapes seems to signal to the law enforcement and intelligence communities that top al Qaeda leadership is comfortable monitoring current events and communicating messages frequently.

If al Qaeda is comfortable doing that, than you should be comfortable nabbing them immediately, for what we’re paying.

Officials have tracked the trend, but FBI director Robert Mueller downplayed the surge of messages during an appearance earlier this month, noting that "there is a difference between al Qaeda’s ability to communicate internally and al Qaeda’s ability to post a message on the Internet. As we all know, the Internet is so broad. The access is absolutely open that just about anybody can post material on the Internet."

Yes, anybody can do it. But I guarantee you that it’s not al Qaeda Mr. Mueller. In fact, your own man said it wasn’t, and so did the pivate business man. Some questions that still have not been answered sufficiently:

• Who is al Qaeda and what do they actually do?
• Why is bin Laden a free man?
• Why is bin Laden still able to communicate effectively?
• If they can’t catch a couple people communicating freely and sharing messages on the internet, why can the RIAA identify us so easily?

This act is getting tired and reeks of stale propaganda and baseless claims used to stimulate fear. Thanks ABC News.

Related in Cahoots:

1. Qaeda #2 Al-Zawahri Stoops to Republican-Level Racism
2. John McCain ‘Knows How to capture bin Laden’
3. Al Qaeda Threat a Prank. DRUDGE, ABC NEWS: Full of Fail