GEORGE BUSH IS NOT REALLY THE PRESIDENT

You may have heard that this guy George W. Bush was elected president. That’s basically been a giant lie. You may have even heard he got reelected. This is also an untruth.

In reality, George Bush is a devoted and perverted time traveller who has been sent to go back in time become elected president, and only do the most inane and incompetent looking political scandles possible for a president to still not be impeached for some reason. He basically goes into the future to screw everything up just right, so you never noticed he was on his ranch all summer. For the lolz. He also owns a hypnoquantummer. The House and the Senate are completely unaware of this, so please take two hours a day to hand write all of your congress-people.

Also, near the end of his time travelling adventures Bush does, in fact, impregnate one of his own ancestors, and he is, in fact, his own grandpa. And more.

Anyways, you’ll probably appreciate this gem from the guardian highlighting his latest time-sploits. I’m about to break Godwins Law. And I just lost the game. That’s what I call appeasement to Nazi’s:

George Bush’s grandfather, the late US senator Prescott Bush, was a
director and shareholder of companies that profited from their
involvement with the financial backers of Nazi Germany.

The
Guardian has obtained confirmation from newly discovered files in the
US National Archives that a firm of which Prescott Bush was a director
was involved with the financial architects of Nazism.

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VIDEO BONUS ROUND

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3. Bush: Americans ‘Ought to thank’ telecoms for warrant-less wiretaps.